POLL: What's the Official Name of Orlando's QAnon Convention This Weekend?

 

POLL:
Should the meeting of #Cult45 zealots taking place in Orlando this weekend be officially known as #CPAQ or #QPAC?

— True Blue Liberal (@TrueBlueLiberal) February 27, 2021

Here's your reminder that the object of abject veneration at #QPAC 2021 (or maybe it's #CPAQ) refused their invitation in 2016 and held his own rally because he was mad at #CPAC 2016's star and favorite presidential candidate, "L-Y-E-N" Ted Cruz.

"You have lyin' Ted Cruz.
I call him.
I nicknamed him -- lyin'.
I say ly - in'.
How would you spell that?
L - Y - E - N.
Lyin'.
With a big [making double airquotes with stubby fingers while pausing to search for the big word] apostrophe."
-Donald J. T***p, Wichita, Kansas, 5 March 2016

This concludes your T***p University spelling lesson for the day.

Your Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina Veepstakes Anagram of the Day

During the 2012 election, this blog ran a number of Veepstakes anagrams tying Mitt Romney to various potential running mates (Christie, Pawlenty, Santorum, and others) until he picked Paul Ryan and we ended up with "Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan = My Ultimate Ayn Rand Porn."

This year we have the strange situation of an obvious GOP loser picking another obvious GOP loser as his running mate long before the GOP convention has a chance to declare them the official losers, so here's our one chance to honor Ted and Carly with an Veepstakes anagram of their own.

Congratulations. May your Crazy Rancid Life Tour run forever.

The Twitterati Have Spoken! Cruz is more horrifying than Trump!

In a Twitter poll conducted by @TrueBlueLiberal yesterday that is every bit as scientific and accurate as any of the other polls that we've seen in 2016, Ted Cruz at 54% is officially more horrifying than the horrifying Donald J. Trump at only 46%.

I can't decide which possibility is more horrifying, so I'm asking for the infallible judgement of the Twitterati :

— True Blue Liberal (@TrueBlueLiberal) March 7, 2016

Climate Change circa 1958

Maybe if President Trump or President Cruz succeed in taking the nation back to their dream decade of the 1950s, we can rediscover this film about human-induced global warming produced by Frank Capra for "The Bell Telephone Hour" in 1958:

Today's Spelling Lesson from Trump University

And you don't even need to give Donald Trump $35,000 in tuition!

"You have lyin' Ted Cruz.
I call him.
I nicknamed him -- lyin'.
I say ly - in'.
How would you spell that?
L - Y - E - N.
Lyin'.
With a big [making double airquotes with stubby fingers while pausing to search for the big word] apostrophe."
-Donald J. Trump, Wichita, Kansas, 5 March 2016

Separation of Church and State in Iowa 2016

"I want to thank an all powerful and mighty God for the chance that he has given us to be a part of this endeavor here in Iowa." Marco Rubio started with the God talk early in his triumphalist "victory" speech last night in Iowa (celebrating his third place showing behind Cruz and Trump). A little later, he made it clear that he was not talking about just some vague Judeo-Christian-Islamic-Deist lip-service God, he was referring to a very specific manifestation of the One True God: "I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to come this far with each of you."

And Marco Rubio is supposedly not one of the chief Bible thumpers in this year's Republican field. The Southern Baptist Minister Mike Huckabee dropped out of the race after the caucuses last night, but the winner, Ted Cruz, while not ordained, is well known to be holier than thou, me, the rest of the Republican field, and the Pope. Cruz began his speech with the words used by most repeatedly-concussed NFL players whenever they see a microphone, "Let me first of all say, to God be the glory," but once he got that out of the way, I couldn't find the words "God" or "Jesus" again in the rush transcript of his speech. Of course the transcript cuts off when the Fox News cameras (the last network covering him) finally left him alone with his followers. He may still be up there speaking in tongues and quoting scripture.

The winner of the Republican speeches last night was, shockingly, Donald Trump, who was short, polite, congratulatory, and completely God-free.

Ted Cruz in blackface wins the endorsement of a duck-hunting hobo...

...or something.

Presidential politics has jumped the shark and become something very very weird in 2016.

True Blue Liberal's Bible School for Conservative "Christians" Continues

Religion has become a theme in this year's Presidential Sweepstakes, so we might as well continue to speak in religious language here as well. This year we seem to be going beyond the normal hypocrisy; today, for example, Ted Cruz announced his "National Prayer Team" to pray his way into the White House.

This morning's TBL Bible Verse for Conservative "Christians" isn't only meant for Cruz's religious shock troops begging God for electoral success; it's for Trump, Bush, Carson, Fox News, and 289 members of Congress (etc., etc.) calling for anti-refugee measures. It's from the New Testament today, specifically Matthew 25:41-46 (using the 1611 King James Version, i.e., the REAL Bible for REAL Christians), and should be self-explanatory.

41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devill and his angels:
42 For I was an hungred, and yee gave me no meat: I was thirstie, and ye gave me no drinke:
43 I was a stranger, and yee took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sicke, and in prison, and yee visited me not.
44 Then shall they also answere him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sicke, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45 Then shall he answere them, saying, Verily, I say unto you, inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternall.

{Hat Tip to @TheTweetOfGod who pointed me in this direction; as the author of the book, he should know the most relevant passages.)

A Modest Proposal for the Next Presidential Debate.

Despite the predictable Fine White Whine about liberal media bias from Reince Priebus and Ted Cruz and others, the real problem with the debate questions, whether on CNBC or CNN or Fox, is the lack of follow-up questions when questions are evaded or the answers are obviously lies. Even conservative commentator David Brooks pointed this out on PBS NewsHour on Friday:

"I think the questioners were not prepared for the brazenness of the lies. [...] there was a certain brazenness to it. And that’s been true of this year, that you — somehow, there is no political price."

So here's my proposal. If the network questioners can't keep up and do the research on the lies and follow up in real time, or are scared that they will be accused of being (gasp!) "Liberal" if they do so, the least we can ask for is instant on-screen commentary from Politifact.com or FactCheck.org:

The Bernie Sanders Speech You Didn't See On Your Television

Yesterday afternoon, Senator Bernie Sanders kicked off his campaign for the 2016 Democratic Presidential nomination with the following speech in Burlington, Vermont. When I got home from work I watched all of ABC World News Tonight and the PBS Newshour and it was not even mentioned on either show. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by ABC finding more worth in stories about Jeopardy and how to save money on your cell phone bill, but I expect more from PBS.

Here's Bernie's whole policy-heavy speech with Lake Champlain in the background:




I recently downgraded my cable, so I no longer get MSNBC where I assume this speech did get at least a nod. However, it won't help if MSNBC is the only channel covering Bernie's campaign. He is a much more serious candidate than at least 8 or 9 GOP candidates who are given more mainstream air time. His support will come from the bottom up, and not from corporate and billionaire supporters. One thing we know for sure: attendance in Burlington was not mandatory yesterday (unlike Ted Cruz's very-well-publicized kickoff at Jerry Falwell University).

The John Lennon / Ted Cruz Mashup

It's not quite a clown circus yet, but the first clown officially stepped into the ring earlier today at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University (without this piano accompaniment):

If Ted Cruz uses the word "imagine" in vain one more time, John Lennon's heirs will have grounds to sue.

(and if you don't see the embedded music player above, click this link from PRI.org.)

I Can't Wait Any Longer for the Clowns to Come to Town.

Joining us today for this first fictional preview of the 2016 Traveling Clown Circus here on the campus of Liberty University, presented by Fox News and sponsored by Mountain Dew are, in alphabetical order, Michele Bachmann, Chris Christie, Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, and Allen West. Hopefully the other ten candidates will be able to join us next week under the big circus tent being set up at Oral Roberts University. I'm your Master of Ceremonies and Ringmaster, Mike Huckabee. Please stand for the Invocation, Pledge of Allegiance, and Star Spangled Banner...

 [fifteen minutes later, with the crowd in a frenzy of patriotic tears] 

Huckabee: The first question goes to Michele Bachmann.
Cruz: And I really thought we had agreed to have only one token woman this year. This is going to get confusing to some of our viewers with two of them.
 Bachmann: Wait your turn! I thought there was only going to be one token Latino or Hispanic or Mexican here too, but we've got you and Rubio. Talk about confusing.
Huckabee: Didn't we agree in our pre-fight briefing that there would be no bashing of ladies or Mexiamericans this year? That's the only reason we lost those two key voting blocks in 2012.
Palin: That and nominating a lamestream Massachusetts moderate who had some very serious RINOplasty issues. I hope you see there how my air quotes while I was saying RINO mean that Romney was a Republican In Name Only.
Huckabee: Thank you for that clever clarification, but still we've got to pretend to be PC here, so no name calling about the wetbacks and members of the weaker sex. Only Dumb-o-crats and San Francisco Liberals can be  freely abused without consequences on this stage. Governor Palin, the first question goes to you... 
Bachmann: Wha..?
Huckabee: What have you done to combat universal healthcare Governor Palin?
Palin: First of all, while I want to thank the good folks at Mountain Dew for providing these pitchers of Dew -- real sugary Dew, not the diet stuff -- I just wish they had given us glasses larger than 16 ounces to pour it into... [raucous applause and laughter and an audible 'Fuck Bloomberg' followed by scattered rebel yells] ... That's good Dew. But seriously, I did more than anyone to stop Obamacare. Do you remember who warned you all about the Death Panels that were gonna kill your grandmas? Me.
Cruz: But I was the Tea Party champion who single-handedly shut down the government in 2013 to stop Obamacare!
Palin: And did you stop it?
Rubio: And has the province of Calgary released your birth certificate yet?
Cruz: Did you get your family's Cuban story rewritten yet?

[Loudly crosstalking candidates become unintelligible under a lengthy chorus of boos, or it could be that some sizable proportion of them are screaming 'Cruuuuuuuz'.] 

Huckabee [for the umpteenth time]: Order please. Please wait for your questions, you'll all get a turn.
Bachmann: Even me?
Huckabee: The next question goes to Rand Paul. What have you done to make sure the uninsured stay that way?
Paul: It's not enough to make sure that we take insurance away from all the victims of Obamacare, but we need to reexamine those earlier Socialist intrusions on our liberty, Medicare and Medicaid. This is about freedom and liberty to die like Americans, penniless and uninsured, if that's what we choose. Without Big Brother Nanny State telling us we need to go to the doctor.
Palin: Isn't your Daddy a doctor? [Governor Palin leans close in to her microphone to take another long audible sip on her soda straw, earning more laughter and applause]
Paul: Not only is he a doctor, but I'm a doctor too. We can do well enough with people who care enough to EARN the money to seek our services. And you can stop pretending you're the only one who cares about Americans getting enough junk food. Who was there to defend trans fats and America's donuts against the freedom-hating bureaucrats of the FDA back in 2013? I was.
Christie: Look at me. Look at me!
Huckabee: We're looking.
Christie: Look at me. Don't I look like someone who would fight harder than anyone for the freedom to eat donuts and drink large corn-syrup-enhanced American beverages?
Huckabee: You know, I was an overweight governor who learned to eat better.
Christie: I'm not gonna frickin mess with the chemistry that got me here.
Huckabee: Allen West, do you have anything to add to this discussion?
West: Is that a question?
Huckabee: I'm not really in control here right now, so say anything you want.
West: After we evict and convict the 80 Communist Party members of the Democrat Congress, then we need to deal with Iran with a few tactical nukes.
Huckabee: Anything else?
West: We're not executing enough prisoners fast enough...

[Interrupted by cheers]

West: If we run out of murderers, rapists, kidnappers, pirates, and traitors, maybe we can impose capital punishment for liberals and atheists or people who burn the Gadsden flag, or...

[foot-stomping, applause, whistles and a few pistol shots into the ceiling tiles fill the next ten minutes]

Huckabee: Because of tonight's spirited discussion and lively audience participation, we don't have time for more questions or closing statements...
Bachmann: Dafuq?!
Huckabee: We barely have enough time left for the closing prayers and the group singing of Lee Greenwood's 'I'm Proud to Be an American' featuring my extended bass solo.
Bachmann: I fought for junk food too!!
Huckabee: Cut her mike please.
Bachmann: ...where would traditional EasyBake ovens get their juice without my Light Bulb Freedom of Choice bill??
Crowd: INCANDESCENTS FOREVER!
Huckabee: Are we done here? Let Us Pray.

2016 GOP Clown Circus Update: The Nuge!!

OK, I haven't updated my 2016 GOP Clown Circus Casting Couch posts lately, but I couldn't help noticing this headline from CBS Detroit:

Ted Nugent Cuts His Hair, Hints At Presidential Run

Please, please do it! Although if his competition on the Clown Circus stage includes Rafael Edward "Calgary Ted" Cruz and Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann, this gun nut may come off as the sane one.

The Strategy of Distraction

Here's the media strategy of the RNC and the Tea Partiers regarding the government shutdown summarized in one twitterer's recent photos. Among many tweets of mine about the government shutdown over the last few days, I posted this one this morning:

Typical Fox News Viewer's View of #GOPshutdown:"Why did Obama and Reid go out of their way to shut down wheelchair ramps at WWII memorial!?"
— TrueBlue Liberal (@TrueBlueLiberal) October 4, 2013

I received this (surprisingly free of grammatical and orthographical errors) response a moment later:

@TrueBlueLiberal why did Obama #shutdown WWII memorial which was open 24/7 before, but now he closes it? Take your rose colored glasses off
— Truth Teller (@LiberalLies2012) October 4, 2013

I went to this tweeter's page and found the following recent pictures:

The photo from October 3 shows the "Barrycade" and "Harrycade" representing the closing of the WWII Memorial, but the photos from September 30 say "SHUT 'ER DOWN! WE DON'T obama CARE!" and the other photos from late September show the thoughtful young 1950's white man in a conservative suit wondering "If there is a government shutdown who will spy on me, waste my money, and have contempt for me?"  If these pictures could speak a thousand words (and, of course, they do) they would tell us all about cognitive dissonance and the typical and predictable right-wing media response that focuses on weapons of mass distraction rather than core issues.  It was in full display last March when the only sequestration cut complained about on the right was Obama's Heartless and Personal Shutdown Of White House Tours Just To Punish The Children (THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!). Now, of course, as one troll pointed out to me earlier this week,  President Obama and the Democrats are Nazis because they hate WWII vets.

It's not just one random twitterer with 29 followers playing up this single-note response to the current shutdown. Michele Bachmann has made multiple grandstanding photo-ops to the Memorial just down the Mall from the Capitol. Rand Paul has managed to combine GOP distractions in one sentence by saying they sent more security guards to the WWII Memorial than to Benghazi. The shutdown's poster boy Rafael Edward "Calgary Ted" Cruz released an official statement about Obamacare causing the Memorial's shutdown. And to prove that this distraction is an official party policy, Chairman of the RNC Reince Preibus (if that is a real name) has offered to have the party pay for five security guards to keep the Memorial open. Is the Republican National Committee willing to pay for scabs to keep all the other departments of the government working as well?

Finally, here's a video of one of the parade of GOP Congressional Grandstanding Photo Opportunists, Robert Randolph "Randy Robby" Neugebauer (R-TX) at the WWII Memorial berating a young Park Ranger for doing her job:

You can tell a lot about a person by the way he treats those he feels are "below" him. Not even the giant American flag in his breast pocket excuses his behavior.

Coming Up Next From the RNC/FOX Media Machine: Blaming Obama and Reid for the earthquake that closed the Washington Monument.

The 2016 Clown Circus Casting Couch is Open!

Before any of them actually arrive for their first auditions, here are the very early TrueBlueLiberal.org front runners for the 2016 GOP Clown Circus:

• In the role of Michele Bachmann, we'll see the return of Sarah Palin.
• In the role of Herman Cain, we'll have the inimitable Allen West.
• In the role of boring Jon Huntsman, we will see boring Tim Pawlenty.
• In the role of boring Tim Pawlenty, we will see boring Jon Huntsman.
• In place of Rick Perry, Texas will be represented by Ted "Tail Gunner" Cruz.
• In the role of Mitt Romney, we will have the sixth Romney son, Paul Ryan (but only if Tagg, Trigg, Tugg, Tigger, and Craig Romney refuse the honor of defending the honor of car elevators and the beleaguered 1%).
• In the role of Newt Gingrich, we'll have the even more corpulent and egotistical Chris Christie.
• In the role of Rick Santorum, John Bolton will be the one to inject a frisson of real fear into the race.
• In the role of Game Show Host Donald Trump, we will see Game Show Host Chuck Woolery (unfortunately dropping out before the first debate to the chagrin of true aficionados of world-class slapstick clownfoolery).
• In the role of Ron Paul, we will see Rand Paul.

And stepping in to pick up the royal family banner with a minimum of effort after the inevitable entertaining clownpocalypse, the statesmanlike pandering flip flopper John Ellis "Jeb" Bush.