Your Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina Veepstakes Anagram of the Day

During the 2012 election, this blog ran a number of Veepstakes anagrams tying Mitt Romney to various potential running mates (Christie, Pawlenty, Santorum, and others) until he picked Paul Ryan and we ended up with "Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan = My Ultimate Ayn Rand Porn."

This year we have the strange situation of an obvious GOP loser picking another obvious GOP loser as his running mate long before the GOP convention has a chance to declare them the official losers, so here's our one chance to honor Ted and Carly with an Veepstakes anagram of their own.

Congratulations. May your Crazy Rancid Life Tour run forever.

The 2016 Clown Circus Casting Couch is Open!

Before any of them actually arrive for their first auditions, here are the very early TrueBlueLiberal.org front runners for the 2016 GOP Clown Circus:

• In the role of Michele Bachmann, we'll see the return of Sarah Palin.
• In the role of Herman Cain, we'll have the inimitable Allen West.
• In the role of boring Jon Huntsman, we will see boring Tim Pawlenty.
• In the role of boring Tim Pawlenty, we will see boring Jon Huntsman.
• In place of Rick Perry, Texas will be represented by Ted "Tail Gunner" Cruz.
• In the role of Mitt Romney, we will have the sixth Romney son, Paul Ryan (but only if Tagg, Trigg, Tugg, Tigger, and Craig Romney refuse the honor of defending the honor of car elevators and the beleaguered 1%).
• In the role of Newt Gingrich, we'll have the even more corpulent and egotistical Chris Christie.
• In the role of Rick Santorum, John Bolton will be the one to inject a frisson of real fear into the race.
• In the role of Game Show Host Donald Trump, we will see Game Show Host Chuck Woolery (unfortunately dropping out before the first debate to the chagrin of true aficionados of world-class slapstick clownfoolery).
• In the role of Ron Paul, we will see Rand Paul.

And stepping in to pick up the royal family banner with a minimum of effort after the inevitable entertaining clownpocalypse, the statesmanlike pandering flip flopper John Ellis "Jeb" Bush.

A Bonus Paul Ryan Anagram

We knew about Paul Ryan's youthful love for the literary apostle of selfishness, and recently learned about his love for Rage Against the Machine, but who knew that he had once fused these two passions into a short songwriting spurt of his own, masterfully using the letters of his own full name to compose an ode to his beloved Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum, alias "Ayn Rand":

Paul Davis Ryan = Sad "I Luv Ayn" Rap

Unfortunately, the only known recordings of Ryan's Opus One have been squirreled away in an undisclosed location with Mitt Romney's missing tax returns from 1999-2009, but the title remains a tantalizing clue to the development of this multi-dimensional renaissance man running for Vice President of the United States.

Paul Ryan's favorite band is Rage Against the Machine?

I heard that strange bit of trivia on NPR on the way home from work tonight and I confirmed it with a couple of links online. And, what do you know, this group of radical leftists from the city of Los Angeles even played at the Republican National Convention in 2008 ... or outside the convention ... or actually they were prevented from taking the stage by the police, so Tom Morello played his classic guitar riffs with his mouth and the crowd sang along.  I'm sure that, as a fan, Paul Ryan will enjoy singing along with Zach de la Rocha and Rage Against the Machine while watching this video:


And, in case he's forgotten, here are the lyrics of the final lines of  "Killing in the Name" so Paul can sing along with the crowd and his favorite band at the end of this video:

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me! 

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me! 

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!  Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!   

I've said it before in relation to Chris Christie and Bruce Springsteen, but in this case it's even more stunningly perplexing: Don't Republicans realize that songs have words?

#MittsMissingReturns (Part Ten) -- In which Paul Ryan makes Mitt Romney throw up in his mouth a little.

Please just watch Mitt Romney's face in this very short clip from last night's installment of 60 Minutes on CBS. This early joint appearance with Bob Schieffer was mostly fluff, but there was this one priceless moment when a flicker of terror crossed Mitt's face.
Before the next non-Fox appearance, Paul Ryan will receive more than a fashion memo concerning the uniform of the evening.

Paul Ryan's Mouth: "What we're saying is take away the tax shelters that are uniquely enjoyed by people in the top tax brackets, so they can't shelter as much money from taxation, so you can lower tax rates for everybody to make America more competitive."

Mitt Romney's Eyes: "Who's this 'we' you're referencing, Sonny?"

This is the reason that seeing #MittsMissingReturns for more than 2010 and 2011 is important. Which tax loopholes available only to the ultrarich has Mitt Romney been taking advantage of?  Which would he close, if any?  Which would Paul Ryan close?  We can't even start this conversation until we know what the questions are.
Ten to twelve years of Mitt Romney's 1040s should be enough to start, but I'm starting to doubt that we'll even see 2009.  Is it possible that in '09 he realized and reflected losses from the stock market declines of '08?  And if so, is it possible that he paid close to zero taxes in that year?

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Catch up with previous installments in the #MittsMissingReturns saga by clicking below:

• #MittsMissingReturns [part one], July 3 
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Two), July 6 
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Three),  July 10
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Four) -- In a Nutshell, July 14 
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Five) -- In Which Mitt Romney Gives a Typically Squirrelly Response, July 16
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Six) -- Herman Cain Weighs In, July 25
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Seven) -- Romney Finds One Issue on Which He's 100% Consistent, July 26
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Eight) -- Another Lesson in Mitt's Lying Laugh, July 31
• #MittsMissingReturns (Part Nine) -- Mitt Romney vs. Harry Reid, August 4

And keep tweeting with #MittsMissingReturns on Twitter.

The "Ultimate" Romney Running-Mate Anagram

Don't be scared by the title into thinking that the anagram well is running dry. As long as potential running mates keep turning down Mitt Romney in the 2012 GOP Veepstakes, I'll try to come up with these anagrams that get to the heart of the candidate seeking to follow Mitt into the loser's circle on the night of November 6th.

Today's victim is Paul Ryan, noted Ayn Rand devotee who, in true mittromneyan manner, claims to have flip flopped in his love for the brutal apostle of selfishness. The unassailable beauty of the anagram shows that his love for Ms Rand is never-ending:

Therefore, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan = My Ultimate Ayn Rand Porn

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Previous running-mate anagrams can be found by clicking on these names: Santorum, Ayotte, Pawlenty, Christie, Cheney, and Portman. 

The Party of Big Government Is .... ?

Rachel Maddow just ran this ABC clip on her show tonight, so I found the video on YouTube and am posting here on TrueBlueLiberal.org. Watch as Barney Frank makes it very clear to an uncomfortable George Will and Paul Ryan that they -- the conservatives and Republicans -- are the real party of big government.

"It's a great embarrassment to the conservatives that they want to tell people who they can have sex with ... this is big government. Who can I have sex with? Who can I marry? What can I read? What can I smoke? You guys on the whole -- not all of you -- but it's the conservatives that want to intrude on personal liberty there."  
-- Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.)

Not that he's ever had a problem with speaking his mind, but now that Barney Frank has announced his intention to leave the House in 2012, he may feel he's even freer to speak the truth no matter where it leads him. Seeing as how he just made an live appearance later on the Rachel Maddow show from the Capitol rotunda in a blue t-shirt, he's showing signs that the fetters are completely removed. That's a good thing.