2016 GOP Clown Circus Update: The New Fat Clown Throws His Hat Into the Ring

VOTE FOR ME!!

It has seemed clear all along that the role of the fat egotistical clown played so well by Newt Gingrich in 2012's GOP Clown Circus would be filled by Chris "Krispy Kreme" Christie in 2016, and the Governor of New Jersey made his ambitions obvious at the end of last week when he vetoed a ban on .50 caliber sniper rifles, a ban which he had proposed just last April.  He announced his veto on a Friday evening when the local news outlets might miss it, but the gun rights groups keeping score on such matters definitely would not.

It's official. He's running for the GOP Presidential nomination and a place at one of the 8 or 9 podiums (podia?) on the traveling 2016 GOP Clown Circus stages.

While having the role of the fat egotistical clown filled is good news for Clown Circus aficionados, there was bad news on Friday as well. The Republican National Committee and its chairman who goes by the improbable name "Reince Priebus" announced that CNN and NBC would not be allowed to host episodes of the highly-anticipated 2016 Clown Circus because those networks are considering the broadcast of a documentary and a miniseries featuring presumed Democratic candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton.  The RNC's real goal, of course, is simply to deny us the pleasure of seeing their clowns showing their true colors on two more networks.  If "Reince" could, he'd simply anoint Jeb Bush or Paul Ryan or Chris Christie with the title of nominee without any of the party's dirty laundry being aired for the entertainment and edification of America's voters.

"There is no why."

Today is the 39th anniversary of one of the great works of art of the twentieth century (and one that would be totally impossible in our current international police state).

Today's Fine White Whine

"It's not really a bunch of whining, it's just us telling them what we're going to do about it, that's all," the man who uses the alias 'Reince Priebus' whined yesterday.

"Them" in the above quotation are the CNN and NBC television networks.
"Us" is the Grand Old Political Party of which 'Reince Priebus' is the chairman.
What they're "going to do about it" is restrict those networks' rights to broadcast portions of the entertaining 2016 GOP Clown Circus if the networks continue with their plans to broadcast documentaries on Hillary Clinton.

"Waaaah Waaaah Waaaah," Mr. 'Priebus' concluded.

Expect a crescendo of Coulrophobia in the United States as we approach 2016

Bart Simpson is referring, of course, to Newt
Gingrich (2012) or Chris Christie (2016).

Smithsonian.com has an article out today on "The History and Psychology of Clowns Being Scary". 

They somehow managed to publish three pages on the common fear of clowns, coulrophobia, while amazingly neglecting to mention the terrifying GOP Clown Circus of 2012 or its upcoming 2016 sequel, which will be in full swing very soon.

Happy 71st to Jerry Garcia

There's more to be learned about "America" and "Freedom" from the missing middle finger of this man in the Mexican poncho than from all the speeches using those words that you'll ever hear from men wearing suits.

“There’s no way to measure his greatness or magnitude as a person or a player. I don’t think any eulogizing will do him justice. He was that great, much more than a superb musician, with an uncanny ear and dexterity. He’s the very spirit personified of whatever is Muddy River country at its core and screams up into the spheres. He really had no equal. To me, he wasn’t only a musician and friend, he was more like a big brother who taught and showed me more than he’ll ever know. There’s a lot of spaces and advances between The Carter Family, Buddy Holly and say Ornette Coleman, a lot of universes, but he filled them all without being a member of any school. His playing was moody, awesome, sophisticated, hypnotic and subtle. There’s no way to convey the loss. It just digs down really deep” -- Bob Dylan

"It's not smart for Republicans to be attacking Republicans..." but it sure is fun! The 2016 GOP Clown Circus is underway.

It may take some time for the full field of
the 2016 GOP Clown Circus to come into focus.

Last week Chris Christie, who is auditioning for the role of the overweight egotistical clown played so well by Newt Gingrich in the 2012 production of the GOP Clown Circus, criticized those questioning the overreach of the American Security State, but especially the Pauls, père et fils, when he said, "...this strain of libertarianism that’s going through both parties right now and making big headlines, I think, is a very dangerous thought." Then, channeling short-lived 2008 clown Rudy "9/11" Giuliani, Christie said, "9/11, 9/11, New Jersey, 9/11, something, 9/11."

Rand Paul, who almost undoubtedly will play the 2016 edition of 2012's popular Ronald McPaul clown, twittered some responses immediately, but the crescendo continued yesterday when Paul The Younger talked about Christie on CNN as "...the king of bacon talking about bacon ... Governor Christie and others have been part of this gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme all this money.”

Rand Paul also said on Monday that “It’s not smart for Republicans to be attacking Republicans, [but he finishes the sentence by attacking the GOP NJ Governor]  but I would remind him that what is dangerous is to forget that we have a Bill of Rights, to forget about privacy and give up on all of our liberty that you have to live in a police state.”

I personally can't wait for the "King Of Bacon" line to come up in one of the first debates of the 2016 GOP Clown Circus.

This will be my only Anthony Weiner post (in ten years jokes about him will necessitate footnotes)

Facebook's stock is up almost 30% since the beginning of trading this morning based on much higher than expected advertising revenues. 
It only takes a quick glance this afternoon to see how intelligent their advertising placement programs have become.

This Will Be The Only Time I Post on the IRS "Scandal"

There seems to be only one difference between the IRS scrutiny received by political groups on the left and right when they applied for tax-exempt status. One side went into the full Fine White Whine of spoiled privileged children and the other side knew they were asking the Internal Revenue Service for a special favor

The Gaspin' Flag commemorating the
2012 Total Collapse of Teaparty (a.k.a. #TCOT)

and were willing to endure the extra questioning to support their claims that they were "social welfare" organizations (probably an exception that shouldn't have been given to any of these political [or religious, but that's another argument] organizations) rather than purely political entities. 

One side fed Darrell Issa's televised Obama Witchhunt Committee with hours of sob stories about how their constitutional right to not pay taxes was interfered with by government questions, reaching an apex with a tearful Wetumpka (Alabama) Tea Party President Becky Gerritson proclaiming that she was not a 'serf or vassal' willing to answer too many questions or fill out lots of forms for her organization's tax-exempt status (which was not, after all, denied).

My favorite quote from the other side comes from the (non-whiny) executive director of one of the progressive groups that was also forced to fill out IRS paperwork (the horror):

“If you’re going to ask for exceptional treatment, you should expect to go through exceptional screening. We all play by the same rules, and if they don’t like the rules, they don’t have to play.”
--Ed Espinoza, Progress Texas (quoted on Politico, 7/22/13)

The 2016 Clown Circus Casting Couch is Open!

Before any of them actually arrive for their first auditions, here are the very early TrueBlueLiberal.org front runners for the 2016 GOP Clown Circus:

• In the role of Michele Bachmann, we'll see the return of Sarah Palin.
• In the role of Herman Cain, we'll have the inimitable Allen West.
• In the role of boring Jon Huntsman, we will see boring Tim Pawlenty.
• In the role of boring Tim Pawlenty, we will see boring Jon Huntsman.
• In place of Rick Perry, Texas will be represented by Ted "Tail Gunner" Cruz.
• In the role of Mitt Romney, we will have the sixth Romney son, Paul Ryan (but only if Tagg, Trigg, Tugg, Tigger, and Craig Romney refuse the honor of defending the honor of car elevators and the beleaguered 1%).
• In the role of Newt Gingrich, we'll have the even more corpulent and egotistical Chris Christie.
• In the role of Rick Santorum, John Bolton will be the one to inject a frisson of real fear into the race.
• In the role of Game Show Host Donald Trump, we will see Game Show Host Chuck Woolery (unfortunately dropping out before the first debate to the chagrin of true aficionados of world-class slapstick clownfoolery).
• In the role of Ron Paul, we will see Rand Paul.

And stepping in to pick up the royal family banner with a minimum of effort after the inevitable entertaining clownpocalypse, the statesmanlike pandering flip flopper John Ellis "Jeb" Bush.

Bonne Fête du Canada!! Happy Canada Day!!

Has the New York Department of Economic Development gone after any of these miscreants replacing the red Valentine heart with a red Maple Leaf and the "NY" with "Canada"?

They have been known to be ruthless with their trademark enforcement.

On a serious note, my grandfather was born north of our unmilitarized border, so what the fuck am I doing in my office this morning on this glorious holiday? Eh?