Monday, July 22, 2013

The 2016 Clown Circus Casting Couch is Open!

Before any of them actually arrive for their first auditions, here are the very early front runners for the 2016 GOP Clown Circus:
  • In the role of Michele Bachmann, we'll see the return of Sarah Palin.
  • In the role of Herman Cain, we'll have the inimitable Allen West.
  • In the role of boring Jon Huntsman, we will see boring Tim Pawlenty.
  • In the role of boring Tim Pawlenty, we will see boring Jon Huntsman.
  • In place of Rick Perry, Texas will be represented by Ted "Tail Gunner" Cruz.
  • In the role of Mitt Romney, we will have the sixth Romney son, Paul Ryan (but only if Tagg, Trigg, Tugg, Tigger, and Craig Romney refuse the honor of defending the honor of car elevators and the beleaguered 1%).
  • In the role of Newt Gingrich, we'll have the even more corpulent and egotistical Chris Christie.
  • In the role of Rick Santorum, John Bolton will be the one to inject a frisson of real fear into the race.
  • In the role of Game Show Host Donald Trump, we will see Game Show Host Chuck Woolery (unfortunately dropping out before the first debate to the chagrin of true aficionados of world-class slapstick clownfoolery).
  • In the role of Ron Paul, we will see Rand Paul.
And stepping in to pick up the royal family banner with a minimum of effort after the inevitable entertaining clownpocalypse, the statesmanlike pandering flip flopper John Ellis "Jeb" Bush.

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