Monday, November 07, 2011

How the Magic of Temple Garments Will Win Mitt Romney the GOP Nomination

Now that "front runner" Herman Cain is being exposed as a sexual harasser by a fourth woman today, it is Newt Gingrich's time for a bump in the polls until ... well, until we all remember he's Newt Fucking Gingrich.
It seems clearer and clearer that the only person who will be able to avoid campaign-ending scandals will be one of the two candidates who is protected from out-of-wedlock shenanigans by the embarassment of exposing his Magic Mormon Underwear to the eyes of the uninitiated.

There are, incredibly, two Magic Mormon Underwear wearers in the GOP Presidential Sweepstakes. However, one of them, Jon Huntsman, refuses so far to toe the orthodox Teapublican party lines on global warming and evolution, so the nominee will be malleable Mitt Romney (unless Sarah and The Donald decide to jump in at this late date to "save" the party and the nation [please!]).

1 comment:

waqasqta said...

Mitt Romney’s Magic Mormon Underwear protects him from the evils of the world including socialism, illegal immigrants, homosexuals and taxes on his inherited wealth. Can these sacred garments also make it rain down enough cash for a victory in this race since well over 90% of public offices are bought in our country by Big Money?