If @realDonaldTrump had been elected mayor of Bethlehem in the year 1 B.C. on an anti-immigrant platform, would he have kept Joseph and Mary from having their #AnchorBaby in his town?
I have nothing to add to the "War On Christmas" question that I didn't already say when this blog was brand new in December 2004: "Put the X back in Xmas."
Read the rest of the prologue to Geoffrey Chaucer's masterpiece here on Bartleby.com or in a million other places, but these first 12 lines of The Canterbury Tales need to be known by every English speaker as well as any other dozen lines of poetry ever written in our language.
April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
Rolling Stone let me know about the International Clash Day holiday today. It was new to me, but I'll be sure to mark my calendar so that I remember to take off from work to celebrate next year.
What are we gonna do now?
Taking off his turban, they said, is this man a Jew? 'Cause they're working for the clampdown They put up a poster saying we earn more than you! When we're working for the clampdown We will teach our twisted speech To the young believers We will train our blue-eyed men To be young believers
The judge said five to ten-but I say double that again I'm not working for the clampdown No man born with a living soul Can be working for the clampdown Kick over the wall 'cause government's to fall How can you refuse it? Let fury have the hour, anger can be power D'you know that you can use it?
The voices in your head are calling Stop wasting your time, there's nothing coming Only a fool would think someone could save you The men at the factory are old and cunning You don't owe nothing, so boy get runnin' It's the best years of your life they want to steal
You grow up and you calm down You're working for the clampdown You start wearing the blue and brown You're working for the clampdown So you got someone to boss around It makes you feel big now You drift until you brutalize Make your first kill now
In these days of evil Presidentes Working for the clampdown But lately one or two has fully paid their due For working for the clampdown Ha! Gitalong! Gitalong! (working for the clampdown) Ha! Gitalong! Gitalong! (working for the clampdown)
Yeah I'm working in Harrisburg Working hard in Petersburg (working for the clampdown, working for the clampdown) Ha! Gitalong! Gitalong! Beggin' to be melted down
And I'll give away no secrets
And a bonus version of 'Clampdown' from Bruce Springsteen and Tom Morello in 2014:
Pick your favorite Hamilton-inspired Hanukkah production, "Hasmonean" from The Maccabeats or "A Hamilton Chanukah" (introduced by President Obama) from Six13.
Fitting with the current commercial season, this War on Christmas post is of a totally mercenary nature. Here are new products for proud soldiers in our great liberal War on Christmas to display on their clothes and holiday trees:
"In honor of the 57th anniversary of the Peace Symbol, I, Bill Berkowitz, fully understanding that I have no official standing, do not possess any super powers, and do not know anyone who will make it thus, hereby suggest that February 21, 2015 be designated as: 'International Peace Symbol Day'."
Well, I also have neither official standing nor super powers, but I have a little blog that attracts actual handfuls of viewers each day, so I'm doing my
bit to direct you to Bill Berkowitz's history of the famous symbol and proclaim that it will definitely be International Peace Symbol Day for me on Saturday, and for every other February 21st to come.
Here's the bumper sticker of the day in the ongoing "War On Christmas" seen leaving Yankees Stadium after the Pinstripe Bowl on December 28:
This cheery red and green Comic Sans "Merry Christmas,whether it offends you or not!" bumper sticker was on the back of a dirty black Ford Raptor pickup truck with Connecticut plates that looked as if it might be Darth Vader's gas guzzler of choice.
"Blue Xmas (To Whom It May Concern)" is certainly in the running for the official 2013 theme song for our Annual Liberal War on Christmas, but it may still be trailing a little behind Eric Idle's "Fuck Christmas", which is slightly more succinct and to the point.
And if you're looking for the chords and lyrics to sing and play "Fuck Christmas" around your own bare aluminum Festivus pole this year, try clicking here.
If Kmart can start running Christmas ads in early September, we're going to have to get our Annual Liberal War On Christmas (ALWOC) revved up earlier this year.
According to the results of free non-scientific online tests, TBL found that he was "Existentialist", "Communist", and "A Grammar God," i.e., if he were a short wall-eyed Frenchman rather than a 6'3" blond American, he would be constantly mistaken for Jean-Paul Sartre!
