Average Fictional Americans Chime in on the Bursting of America's Useless-Crap Bubble

The usual men-and-women-on-the-street over at The Onion* have spoken today about the Sharper Image bankruptcy as an early warning sign of the impending messy bursting of the useless-crap bubble upon which our entire economy floats.

"Never in a million years did I think the American consumer would lose its hunger for expensive, useless products."

--Jack Dimsdale, Systems Analyst

We may have to go back to floating the entire economy on expensive, useless weapons systems instead, though that task may be harder to accomplish if we replace a traditional fear presidency with a hope presidency.

------------------------
*Though masquerading as mere "jokesters," please remember that everything in The Onion eventually comes to pass, as proved by this masterpiece of divination published on January 17, 2001.