In the "news"...

I have been avoiding news channels lately, but I just surfed past Erin Burnett's show on CNN with my remote control and watched them deviate from the EBOLA HYSTERIA MONTH script for ten minutes (at about 7:50pm on 10/27/14) to warn us that ISIS might be preparing to use captured American shoulder-fired missiles to shoot down aircraft (followed immediately by a commercial for Northrop Grumman weaponry).

I'm done watching the news for a little while...

Each HYSTERICAL EBOLA story should have this disclaimer: As an American you are more than 10,000 times more likely to be killed by a bullet.

— TrueBlue Liberal (@TrueBlueLiberal) October 13, 2014

* * ALERT * * FOX TO REVEAL ALL TONIGHT * * ALERT * *

In the moment all of America has been waiting a decade for, the fair and balanced Fox News Network will finally tie all its paranoia up in one bullet-proof Grand Unification Conspiracy Theory tonight, beginning with the story of how an evil young Kenyan infant invented a fictitious Hawaiian birth story and a chemical concoction he gave the name "Ebola" and proceeding through the nexus of the all-powerful Acorn-Alinsky-BlackPanther secret socialist power structure patiently pushing its Kenyan messiah and an agenda of marijuana and gay marriage to distract us from the real threat of Ebola-carrying Guatemalan children crossing the porous border and infecting the very last bastion of real Americans -- Texas.