"We are not prone to surrender, we Mississippians." --Chris McDaniel

But who would expect a teabagger to have any sense of history, or irony?

"... beliefs that would shame even a gorilla ..." The Bible Belt is voting today.

In honor of the GOP primaries taking place tonight in Alabama and Mississippi where up to 81% of the voters are self-described "White Evangelical Christians" and  45-52% of the voters are stupid enough to think that President Obama is a Muslim and only 12-14% believe he's a Christian (a triumph of white-flight Christian schools and home schooling lazily reinforcing treasured prejudices and stereotypes), the quote of this minor election night comes from the mouth of a young Alexander Portnoy, recording his first impressions of a visit to the home of Christian:

"Tacked above the Girardi sink is a picture of Jesus Christ floating up to Heaven in a pink nightgown. How disgusting can human beings be! The Jews I despise for their narrow-mindedness, their self-righteousness, the incredibly bizarre sense that these cave men who are my parents and relatives have somehow gotten of their superiority -- but when it comes to tawdriness and cheapness, to beliefs that would shame even a gorilla, you simply cannot top the goyim. What kind of base and brainless schmucks are these people to worship somebody who, number one, never existed, and number two, if he did, looking as he does in that picture, was without a doubt The Pansy of Palestine. In a pageboy haircut, with a Palmolive complexion -- and wearing a gown that I realize today must have come from Fredericks of Hollywood. Enough of God and the rest of that garbage! Down with religion and human groveling! Up with socialism and the dignity of man! [...]"

--Philip Roth, Portnoy's Complaint

(p. 168 of 1969 hardcover)

I hope I offended somebody.

Mitt's Special Southern Magic Underwear Revealed

What secret liberals from Massachusetts
wear south of the Mason-Dixon  line.

Much has been written about Willard "Mitt" Romney's secret Mormon underwear and its magical properties, but we were finally able to break the news about what he was really wearing on the night of his Florida victory over his non-liberal opponents. Now our secret liberal double agent within the GOP is doubling down on his good luck charms going into tomorrow's contests far south of the Mason-Dixon line, wearing his True Blue Mississippi Liberal underwear over his heart and his True Blue Alabama Liberal boxers below his non-Gingrichian waistline.

We can be assured that the power of these garments will ensure that we will have a choice of TWO liberal major-party presidential candidates in early November, despite the pollsters who are still holding out a candle of hope for conservatives Newt'n'Rick in tomorrow's electoral contests for the hearts and votes of Dixie's Republicans.

It's time for the Magnolia State to keep the string alive.

The good citizens of The Equality State, Wyoming, did their part on Saturday to start Barack Obama's next winning streak with a decisive 61%-38% victory.

Tomorrow it's the turn of The Magnolia State, Mississippi, to continue that streak. Don't let Hillary Clinton's campaign convince you that, because you're a "small" state, you don't really count.