Weighty Questions Being Weighed by National Enquirer

Seen at the supermarket
on August 11, 2016.

Why is Donald Trump's newspaper of record so obsessed this month with running fictional stories about the weight of the most prominent Democratic women?

Seen at the supermarket today, September 1, 2016.

There is no way that Michelle Obama has gained 95 pounds this year or that Hillary Clinton has gained 103 pounds, no matter how skilled the Enquirer's Photoshop magicians may be. Could this have anything to do with Donald Trump's own health, or questions about his official sub-200-lb weight?

The nation's favorite checkout-counter reading endorsed Donald Trump in March, and he returned the favor in July.

"I've always said, Why didn't the National Enquirer get the Pulitzer Prize for Edwards, and O.J. Simpson, and all of these things?" -- Donald J. Trump, July 22, 2016

UPDATE 7/19/2022: My original video link from 2016 has gone black, so here's another link from Mediaite with Trump's praise of the Enquirer: https://www.mediaite.com/online/donald-trump-wonders-out-loud-why-didnt-the-national-enquirer-get-the-pulitzer-prize/

Great minds and all that...

When I posted my snarky little piece about Donald Trump's official weight this morning, I had no idea that the Pulitzer-worthy journalists of the National Enquirer were asking the same question about the Democratic nominee. So I was a little surprised when this was the cover that greeted me on the checkout line as I bought my lunch this afternoon:

"Hillary Gains 103 Lbs!" ?

By the way, the same internet sources that gave Trump's weight at 198 pounds this morning give Hillary's weight as 132, so I'm not sure where the crack researchers and punctilious fact-checkers (and creative Photoshop artistes) of the Enquirer got their "Then" and "Now" weights of 186 and 289 respectively.

With #HillaryHealth trending on Twitter this week for no reason other than the fact that Assange, Trump, Shkreli, Alex Jones, Breitbart, and Putin's RT.com, have all decided it is the attack of the week, I probably shouldn't be surprised to see Donald Trump's favorite bathroom reading joining in the fray. The message from Trump Tower headquarters must have gotten a little bit scrambled though; while most of the right-wing echobox is touting capitalist vampire Martin Shkreli's expert claim that Hillary has Parkinson's, the Enquirer seems to have transferred that ailment (with a side of Alzheimer's) to Hillary's husband.