Showing posts with label Useless-Crap Bubble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Useless-Crap Bubble. Show all posts

Friday, March 21, 2008

Top Ten Reasons the USA Won’t Boycott the Beijing Summer Olympics

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10. We don’t want to imperil our lifeline of cheap electronics, lead-enhanced toys, slightly-poisoned dog food, and piles of other plastic useless crap that keeps our McMansions and Wal-Marts from looking empty.
9. What? And give up our quadrennial chance to maniacally chant “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” with our families for two weeks while eating Doritos and staring at prerecorded and edited ping-pong, badminton, and beach volleyball tournaments on the new widescreen HDTV that we bought for the occasion?
8. Has the Dalai Lama's country ever contributed cheap labor, diamonds, or oil to the US economy?
7. This year, American scientists have finally found a way to stay one step ahead in the performance-enhancing-chemical and undetectable-blood-doping wars.
6. A vague fear about Chinese hackers being talented enough to bring down eBay … or Dick Cheney’s pacemaker.
5. We only pick fights with countries that don’t have an air force.
4. It’s our only chance to see Modern Pentathlon on television (even if it’s only in a five-minute montage of the courageous American Pentathlete who placed 45th).
3. There is no Tibetan voting block in Miami, or New Jersey, or anywhere else in the USA.
2. We want to see hour-long Up-Close-and-Personal stories about dyslexic orphans who have fought their way to the top of the international equestrian dressage ranks after being adopted by sympathetic American billionaires.
1. George W. Bush’s balls are only half the size of Jimmy Carter’s.


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but seriously, in addition to the current violence against Tibetans, the 11th Panchen Lama will turn 19 on April 25th. He's been a political prisoner of the Chinese since he was six. But "Hey, it's all about the athletes, and having fun!" Let's not spoil it with any talk of politics. That would be like spoiling this weekend's White House Easter Egg Roll® with talk of innocent minors who were thrown without charges into cells at Guantanamo.


And here's a blog I just found dedicated to an Olympic Boycott: Boycott2008Games.blogspot.com

Friday, March 14, 2008

The Chief Manufacturers of America's Useless Crap Are Shooting Tibetans in Lhasa Today

And the Chinese government has the audacity to blame the Dalai Lama for the governmental violence. What should we do about this?
  • Are we going to stop buying the millions of products that say Made in China?
  • Are we going to boycott the Olympic Games in Beijing? Will we show we have as much backbone as Jimmy Carter in the summer of 1980?
  • How about adding this flag to the uniforms of our Olympic athletes? Can't we, as a nation, be at least as brave as Björk?

Just Asking,
True Blue Liberal

Monday, March 10, 2008

More Evidence that America's Useless-Crap Bubble is Bursting






"Sixty-four percent of people intend to cut indulgent spending this year according to a new survey by HSBC Bank USA. Another survey by Discover Financial Services confirms that sentiment. This month, half of consumers plan to cut down on non-essential spending like eating out, going to the movies and remodeling, according to the report."

Monday, February 25, 2008

Average Fictional Americans Chime in on the Bursting of America's Useless-Crap Bubble

The usual men-and-women-on-the-street over at The Onion* have spoken today about the Sharper Image bankruptcy as an early warning sign of the impending messy bursting of the useless-crap bubble upon which our entire economy floats.

"Never in a million years did I think the American consumer would lose its hunger for expensive, useless products."

--Jack Dimsdale, Systems Analyst


We may have to go back to floating the entire economy on expensive, useless weapons systems instead, though that task may be harder to accomplish if we replace a traditional fear presidency with a hope presidency.

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*Though masquerading as mere "jokesters," please remember that everything in The Onion eventually comes to pass, as proved by this masterpiece of divination published on January 17, 2001.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Forget the Dot.Com Bubble and the Housing Bubble, this is really serious

This just in:
Two Gift Retailers File for Bankruptcy

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: February 20, 2008
Filed at 12:21 p.m. ET

NEW YORK (AP) -- A weak holiday season and a struggling economy led retailers Sharper Image Corp. and Lillian Vernon Corp. to file for bankruptcy this week, and analysts predict others could soon follow them as consumer spending worsens. [. . .]

If the USELESS-CRAP BUBBLE ever bursts, there won't be any US (or Chinese) economy! Only you can buy an Stretching Robotic Massage Recliner or Faux Chocolate Easter Bunny to save us from financial disaster!