In the moment all of America has been waiting a decade for, the fair and balanced Fox News Network will finally tie all its paranoia up in one bullet-proof Grand Unification Conspiracy Theory tonight, beginning with the story of how an evil young Kenyan infant invented a fictitious Hawaiian birth story and a chemical concoction he gave the name "Ebola" and proceeding through the nexus of the all-powerful Acorn-Alinsky-BlackPanther secret socialist power structure patiently pushing its Kenyan messiah and an agenda of marijuana and gay marriage to distract us from the real threat of Ebola-carrying Guatemalan children crossing the porous border and infecting the very last bastion of real Americans -- Texas.
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