Comedy Writers Take Note.

If you're looking to imitate a freelance conservative commentator on your own comedy website, you can't do better than the comedy writers behind the site that I just stumbled upon this afternoon: http://www.us4freespeech.com/. Here are a couple of randomly-selected run-on sentences from the center of their long Christmas Eve entry.

"[...] REMEMBER: MAN MADE GLOBAL WARMING = CO2 REGULATION = CARBON EMISSION REDUCTION = OBAMA, AL GORE, CHAVEZ, MUGABI, BARBRA BOXER, THE EPA AND ANY OTHER LIAR, BECOMING THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE WORLD! GLOBAL WARMING PREVENTION, CARBON DIOXIDE REDUCTION, CO2 EMISSION CONTROL REGULATION ALL HARMLESS TITLES REQUIRING THE EPA, FORCED BY THE UNDOCUMENTED CONSTITUTIONAL THREAT TO AMERICA OBAMA, TO KILL AMERICAN TAX PAYERS BY MEANS OF ANNUALLY GENERATING FALSE REPORTS OF ELEVATED NATIONAL CO2 LEVELS REQUIRING A REDUCTION PERIOD EVENTUALLY BECOMMING A LAW. EXCITING! DURING THESE REDUCTION OR CLEAN PERIODS, AMERICANS WILL BEGIN TO DISAPPEAR WHILE THE FAKE NEWS STATE CONTROLLED MEDIA REPORTS IRONICALY HOW KIDNAPPING IS ON THE RISE, WHEN ACTUALLY IT WILL BE OBAMAS FUTURISTIC RED/GREEN "NEW NATIONAL ARMY" COMMITTING MURDER. THE DEMOCRATS WILL NOT ALLOW ANY INVESTIGATION OF THE FALSE ELEVATED NATIONAL CO2 DATA FOR FEAR OF THE TRUTH BEING TOLD ONCE AGAIN LEADING TO THE DEMOCRATS BEING EXPOSED AS THE RACIST ROBERT BYRD KKK PARTY SEEKING TO DOMINATE THE POLITICAL LANDSCAPE. EXTRAVOGANT WORDS TWISTED AROUND MEANINGLESS LANDSCAPES OF HARMONY AL GORES POEM REFERS TO PREACHERS BEING MURDERED AND HORSEMAN RIDING.[...]"

Don't hurt your brain trying to make logical sense of it. Simply admire the flow, the unrelenting unreadable BOLD ARIAL CAPS, the exclamation points, the creative spelling. Priceless. It's right up there with the comedy writers behind @SarahPalinUSA who celebrated Christmas Eve with the following joke posting. Note how brevity and random capitalization and punctuation can be used just as efficiently as screaming run-on caps when imitating the comic reactionary voice. A freedom from standard orthographical rules is mandatory though.


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(And for those of you who may be reading this on a device that doesn't show images, the text of "Sarah Palin's" Tweet reads: "c tomrrw's Healthcare Takeover vote=the sleeping giant will awaken&action will b takn by"average"Americans as lite shines on big govt growth")